I think it so awesome, and am so thankful that Christ loves His kids so unconditionally. Case in point; me. He has an uncanny way of saying " I know you better than you think, and I am watching you right now." (paraphrased of course) The other night I realized my helpless human shell that I am entombed in is just that; helpless without Christ.
I had just had a major discussion (a.k.a. fight) with my wife of 18 yrs. I did not want to talk to her, my friends, and least of all - God! He would just tell me to pull up my boot straps, grow a pair, and figure it out. I didn't want to listen. I actually felt like getting ripped. Going and buying a 12 pack and sitting down by the river, and saying "to hell with the world" for awhile and just get lit up. I was pissed at life in general, using my wife as the catalyst and blaming her. Messed up. Now, I have been a Christian for a long long time, and I have not wanted to get drunk in a very long time. I love a good beer or red wine, but have absolutely no desire to get tipsy or drunk. Nope, not any. Been there, done that. I have to consider myself a little wiser now knowing that throwing up on my floor is not my favorite past time. However; I didn't really care that night. Here's where Dad comes in.
I stormed out of my house with a cloud of anger brewing above my head, and got into my Suburban ready to hit the 7-11 for a short case of whatever. I turned my key and the radio had been left on from earlier. The first words that came out of the radio were; "you decide, who will you run to?" A song by a band called "Fireflight." At first it made me angry that God was there, and then, as angry as I was, I had to chuckle at His timing. Did it make me think? Damn straight it did. It gave me a visual of Jesus on one side and my 12 pack on the other. "You decide, who will you run too?"
I didn't get my beer that night, nor did I have the desire to after that. I opted for a solo viewing of the movie "Inception" at our local movie house. In the days after, I have been thinking of that song and what it means. Some times life sucks. It just does; but we have to decide who (or what) we will run to.
Thanks Dad for caring enough to speak to me through the radio the other night. Love you.
Steve