Disgusting Pride Spills Over

This past week has been a trying one.  We moved into a new house and are still going through some of the "headaches" of a new address - i.e. getting our business phone and fax line hooked up, trying to fit a 3 car garage worth of "stuff" into a two car garage, and going from a 1/2 acre lot to a very small lot.  Work is slow and our local football team got beat in the first round of the playoffs.  

But even more than that is the animosity and outright fighting I have (we have) been going through in our house.  I have had more arguments and full on fights with my wife and my oldest son, than I can remember in a long time.  I know - the easy thing to say is that I'm being attacked by Satan, and there is real spiritual warfare going on here.  And I think for the most part that is true.  I have been slack at spending time with Jesus this last week, and have let down my shield and my armor, and exposed my weak spiritual self.  Enter Satan and his cronies. I don't deny that.  However; my own stinking rotting pride has started to seep out again.  An excellent pastor in Sisters OR named Tim Kizziar from Sisters Community Church gave an awesome example in one of his sermons that really stuck and had an impact on me that's so relevant here:  it's like carrying around a vase of muddy dirty water that no one can see inside of.  But as you move around some of the goo starts to spill over the rim of the vase and land on the ground for everyone to see.  I'm not hiding it very well anymore.  Soon, (as in this weekend) it doesn't just spill over, it pours over, until I've dumped it all on the ground for my family to see.  It's like dirty brown sewer water just flowing out now.  I have a lot of ugly stuff inside me that just spills out.  For me it's my pride.  I think my vase is so stained inside that even when I fill it with fresh water, it still looks dirty inside.  Thank God for His undeserving but beautiful grace.  Jesus please help me to see my faults and my weaknesses.  Please help me to change into the man, husband, and father you expect and want me to be.  Let me love my son and my wife like the example of love you have shown us.  Protect me from the darkness that surrounds and wants to attack.  Draw close to me Jesus.  

You know Satan has been around for almost - ever!  It's not a new strategy he employs, but a time tested effective strategy that cuts to the core.  It's family.  If he can drive a wedge in your family, and pit you against each other, he will also drive a wedge between you and Jesus.  He has been very effective in that task this last week.  I'm glad I can realize the problem, but that's only half of it.  I need to address it by putting my armor back on fighting for my family.  I don't know what I'm smoking if I think I can do it solo without Jesus.  Lord I am sorry for being so busy this last week that I have neglected you.  I'm ready to saddle up this week and rejoin your army.

Thank you for your unconscionable patience in me Jesus.  

Thank you