Today's feature post is on Cow Tipping! Cow tipping is an art in itself. For years many have engaged in this heightening activity. Young children dream of it during their algebra classes, sort of like a rite of passage. It began many years ago, when a young boy of the name of Tipper McCoy decided to make a cow more comfortable as it slept. Thinking that standing while sleeping was cruel and unusual, he set out one night to give 'ol Betsy a rest. Tragically, Tipper fell into a thick cow pie as he tried making his way back to his warm bed. He ended up going to the hospital with a severe paranoia of cows.
Here are some suggestions of what NOT to do while tipping a cow.
Do not wear red. Bulls are in the area.
Do not tug on the tail to check on sleeping status.
Do not make "moo" sounds. This only aggravates them.
Do not try to ride the cow like a horse.
Do not try to milk the cow.
Do not make friends with the cow. Remember, you are there to TIP the cow, not buy it a drink.
Do not eat a burger in front of the cow.
Other Suggestions
If the fence is making a buzzing sound, do not attempt to cut.
If the fence is making a buzzing sound do NOT attempt to relieve yourself on it.
Make sure you bring the good truck. This is supposed to be done quietly. Do not have a truck that backfires like a rifle. Cows will awaken.
Make sure it IS a cow. If it has horns, and no udders, Back off with caution.
Wear high boots, not flip flops.
Who Cares?!
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